On writing

So.

What I am trying to do here is to ease the urge that have been itching me already for some time, or rather said, a sense of obligation towards oneself.

And that is - I should be writing things down.

Regularly. Routinely. To create a habit of time spent by thinking undisturbed, and having at least some output from that process. I hope that way to became more precise in my speech and articulation of the ideas. In communication with others and possibly, somehow, being useful to the reader.

It's also a mirror I am trying to hold up to myself - to my mind - in order to observe and notice my thoughts. A way of detaching self from the feelings in an attempt to see objectively. Although sometimes it might also be just the opposite - a way of connecting to one's emotions even deeper.

I've read multiple times of how writing is very proficient tool in developing critical thinking. It does make sense - using your brain and skills should develop them more. But it's also dreadfully difficult in many ways. Personally, what's hard is the implied underlying requirement for authenticity and being true to oneself. Laying bare the inner self and at the same time to tread carefully in the pursuit of truth.

I know that it's an ancient cliché amongst the writers that when there's lack of inspirations or ideas, one falls into the pit of writing about writing. Which is a desperate and ugly thing to do.

Yet that's the way I need to do things now, I suppose, in order to advance myself. Starting dirty and ugly. With unpolished first drafts, attempts to stitch together incoherent fragments of thoughts that occasionally spins in my mind.

And later have a look at them.

❧